I think you'll understand

Observations on hand-holding.

Fragment of a statue discovered in Amarna (Egypt). Photo by Titlutin via Wikimedia Commons.

In my personal life I try to practice a certain kind of rigorous, ritualistic sentimentality: always saying “cheers” on the first round of drinks; ending calls with family, significant others, and close friends with “I love you”; saying “thank you” whenever somebody does me a small kindness, like bringing me a cup of coffee. (This list is non-exhaustive, but you get the idea.) To me, these are important actions; they say, I’m happy you’re here, I don’t take you for granted.¹

And without being a very touch-happy person in general, I believe also in the importance of touching people, including during contentious conversations, but also when they are under stress, or sad, or so on. Obviously, you key this to the person in question, whose needs around touch are whatever they are. If it is unhelpful to them, you should not touch them. It is terrible to be overwhelmed by somebody else’s desire to help …